Tribute Wall
Sunday
5
February
Memorial Visitation (The family kindly requests guests to wear masks while inside the Funeral Home.)
2:00 pm - 5:00 pm
Sunday, February 5, 2023
Dangler Funeral Home
600 Speedwell Avenue
Morris Plains, New Jersey, United States
Sunday
5
February
Memorial Service (The family kindly requests guests to wear masks while inside the Funeral Home.)
5:00 pm - 6:00 pm
Sunday, February 5, 2023
Dangler Funeral Home
600 Speedwell Ave.
Morris Plains, New Jersey, United States
973-539-3300
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Marc Fanelli posted a condolence
Saturday, February 25, 2023
A Tribute to My Mother, Betty Fanelli
On January 23, just before midnight, my mother Betty Fanelli passed away after a brief illness. A devoted wife of 61 years to my father, Tony; a loving mother to her 4 children and a proud grandmother of 6 grandchildren ranging in age from 7 to 23, Betty was a remarkable woman – a force of nature – who’s devotion to family – and the nurturing of the family unit – was her life’s mission. Traditions were important to her – celebrating birthdays, holidays and events as a family – and thus they became important to all of us. When her children were young, and as so many mothers of her generation did, Betty eschewed a career in order to raise her family – putting every ounce of energy into ensuring my siblings and I grew up with life’s necessary tools. Her discipline was structured as she ran the tightest household one could imagine. We had schedules and non-negotiable chores. We ate dinner at the same time every evening, but not before dad would get home from work. We did our homework and the notion of getting a poor grade in school was unthinkable. Mom was efficient and machine-like in the way she managed us – which we most certainly didn’t always make easy for her. She was wise, smart, intuitive, creative, tough, decisive and fearless. She certainly didn’t coddle us and commanded the utmost respect from all who knew her. Tough love was doled out like candy on Halloween, but love it was and we always knew where we stood – at the front of the line. There was her family and its well-being and there was everything else – in that order. And because of this, we grew up with a profound appreciation for family and learned unconditional love for one another. There was no sibling rivalry in our household – we rooted for each other and found genuine happiness in each other’s accomplishments (and still do). We would (and still do) drop anything to help each other in times of need. No one ever kept score – we just rally for one another because that’s what we learned to do when a loved one needs support. The curation of an iron-clad family was mom’s Picasso – and she left this world with a great peace knowing her masterpiece was intact and would survive for generations to come.
Determined and headstrong, mom would go to college in her 40’s and obtain a degree – something she was extremely proud of for doing at her age – and go on to enjoy a very successful 17-year career with Bell Labs / Lucent Technologies where she retired from in 2002 when tragedy struck in the form of a health crisis. In 2002 mom was diagnosed with an arterial blockage that would require what was to be a routine stent procedure to open the artery. Instead, a botched procedure induced a massive heart attack that left her on machines, fighting for her life with an irreparably damaged heart. Doctors prepared us for the worst as by the time she was transferred to Columbia Presbyterian Hospital in New York, she was the “sickest patient in the ICU” – and the youngest. What no doctor could possibly know at that time was she was also likely the most defiant patient with a will to live that would overcome every obstacle with a ruthless efficiency. From kidney failure to staph infections to ventilators and feeding tubes to blood clots and arrythmias – while in a coma, mom simply laughed at the Angel of Death who grew weary – if not annoyed at his situation until he finally thew up his arms in defeat. What he didn’t understand was mom was fighting not for her own life, but for the unfinished business she had as a wife, parent and grandparent – it wasn’t her time yet even though every bit of data suggested otherwise. Mom would undergo two open heart surgeries – the first saw a mechanical pump inserted into her heart to give what was left of the muscle an assist in its pumping function. At the time, 1 in 4 patients receiving this surgery didn’t make it through the procedure. Later, mom would receive a heart transplant and after serval months would be able to go home to the house she shared with my dad in Morris Plains, NJ. Climbing the stairs to my parents’ home was something you had to psych yourself up to do when you’d visit. Moving from our childhood home because it had too many steps, incredibly, they managed to build their next home – a townhouse – with an even worse 60-degree incline over two very long flights from the driveway to the front door. Your legs burned and your heart raced by the time even the most physically fit reached the top. So, it was no surprise that when my brothers took mom out of the car upon her return home that she refused to be carried or assisted as she triumphantly climbed that staircase in her atrophied state and with two feet which no longer possessed toes as they had become casualties of the heart attack. But this was so “on brand” for Betty. Possessing an incredible constitution, she took every obstacle in life head-on, never allowing herself to be a victim. In the 20 years that followed, even in her compromised state, she helped raise 6 grandchildren, traveled the world and continued our family traditions. Perhaps it’s fitting that Betty left us after hosting her final Christmas, her favorite family time of all. Shortly after, mom got sick and fought for several weeks with her loving husband, children and siblings by her side – encouraging her, trying to help and telling her how much we all loved her. There came a point where mom realized (before we did) that she wasn’t going to recover and fear turned to calm, fight turned to acceptance and waiting turned to aggravation. See, once Betty decided something she just did it without hesitation. So, having to wait around for a Heaven-bound Uber didn’t suit her at all. Three hours before my mother drew her last breath while clutching her husband’s hand, and in tremendous discomfort, looked at me and asked, “why won’t I die?” Three hours later her ride appeared as she was reunited with her old friend, Azrael, who this time was able to complete his task and bring one of God’s children home. That my mother had to wait so long likely made that ride very unpleasant for him. I am certain mom asked him how she could file a complaint with his superior for the terrible service. And his rating? I’m thinking 2-stars at best… Mom was one of a kind. Triumphant even in death – we should all be so fortunate. May the story of her life continue to inspire all who knew her. She will be missed but her presence will fill our hearts always.
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Meryl Levy-Kryza uploaded photo(s)
Saturday, February 4, 2023
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Q: What was Betty like as a child?
A: The family always talked about the beautiful curls Betty had as a baby!--Cousin Meryl
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Meryl Levy- Kryza uploaded photo(s)
Saturday, February 4, 2023
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Betty was my mother's 1st cousin , but there were 3 cousins the same age: Me, Betty and Emily. Growing up, Emily was the pretty blonde, I was the nerd artist, but Betty was the one WHO COULD DO THINGS: sew on a machine and cook-- I always admired her for that! In recent years she would send me great jokes, sayings and You-Tubes, which I will miss, and as an only child, I will miss her as the one family member who has kept in touch with me regularly, and I will miss the knowledge and memories she had of our family. Love, Cousin Meryl: Pics from my 80th birthday and wedding,1982
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Robert R. Laskoski Laskoski posted a condolence
Saturday, February 4, 2023
Our condolences to the Fanelli family on Betty Fanelli's passing. I will miss emails that we shared.
May she rest in peace
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Elaine spencer posted a condolence
Wednesday, February 1, 2023
My heartfelt love and sympathies to the Fanelli and Capria family.Betty was my oldest and dearest friend,we grew up together in Brooklyn on Ocean Parkway.Since I was an only child her family became mine,my best times were with them. I remember watching fireworks on the roof and getting suntans on tar beach,We did fun and silly things together.She was my hero for all the health problems she had and never heard her complaining.Rest in peace my dear friend
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Joan Burlew posted a condolence
Tuesday, January 31, 2023
Betty was the kind of friend whom I considered a blessing in my life. Living in WML we were able to raise our families together, enjoying so many fun times like skating on the lake, fireworks at Carnival time, attending dances and special shows like Beatlemania at the clubhouse, etc. Most of all we enjoyed being together and laughing, always laughing. Betty, Tony, Barbara, John. Marc and Michael are woven into the fabric of the Burlew family's lives and we are forever grateful for that. Love you Betty. Always have, always will.
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Andrea and Steve Diamond posted a condolence
Monday, January 30, 2023
Our heartfelt condolences to Tony and the entire Fanelli family on the passing of Betty. May your fond memories during happier times bring you comfort, and may her memory be a blessing. Steve and Andrea Diamond
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Barbara uploaded photo(s)
Monday, January 30, 2023
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Mom, planned her 70th birthday party. Here is her invitation. The wrapper from the chocolate bar gift was made by her sisters. Mom was great at hosting parties at home and planning large parties at venues. Every detail was done with thought and care.
Barbara
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Alicia M. DeFrange lit a candle
Monday, January 30, 2023
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I remember Betty so fondly from our family reunions when I was a child. It was great to read of all of her accomplishments. Betty and family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Alicia DeFrange (Frances Capria-DeFrange's daughter).
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Elaine spencer planted a tree in memory of Betty Fanelli
Monday, January 30, 2023
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May you live on forever love and will miss you Elaine
Please wait
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Barbara uploaded photo(s)
Sunday, January 29, 2023
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Cousins in Brooklyn: Betty, brother Bob, and cousin Bernadine
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Susan uploaded photo(s)
Sunday, January 29, 2023
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Betty my forever friend and hero...
We had such goods times on Upper Mountain Ave. Our kids played football and hockey and we would end up at Fanelli's for after game party.
I'm so grateful that we kept in touch with lunches and telephone calls, laughing all the time (that I will miss)
You will be missed but never forgotten.
The spirit lives on forever, until we meet again my friend....
Joanie (Christiansen)
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Bill Zucker posted a condolence
Sunday, January 29, 2023
My deepest condolences to Betty's husband Tony, her children and their families for your loss. I always enjoyed working with Betty in AT&T Network Systems (and its successors). She was a force of nature! She was truly a thoughtful and caring person who overcame so much adversity in her life. I am glad that she using the years after her heart surgery well to enjoy her family and to contribute to the betterment of society.
Sincerely
Bill Zucker
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Garth Ringheim uploaded photo(s)
Saturday, January 28, 2023
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The family of Betty L. Fanelli uploaded a photo
Friday, January 27, 2023
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who we are:
The Dangler Family of Funeral Homes - a family run business since 1820.
Contact Us
Dangler Funeral Home, Inc.
P: (973) 539-3300
F: (973) 539-9893
Burroughs, Kohr & Dangler Funeral Home, Inc.
P: (973) 377-3232
F: (973) 377-2226
location
600 Speedwell Ave.
(at Glenbrook Rd.)
Morris Plains, NJ
Christine M. Dangler, Mgr., N.J. Lic. No. 4706
Kip M. Dangler, Dir., N.J. Lic. No. 3992
map
106 Main St.
(at Greenwood Ave.)
Madison, NJ
Kip M. Dangler, Mgr., N.J. Lic. No. 3992
Christine M. Dangler, Dir., N.J. Lic. No. 4706