Thursday, July 4, 2024
From your loving daughter Chrissy
My father has been an important figure throughout my life. After my sister and I moved away from Monroe, Dad still influenced us. Even when we became independent adults, our father still nurtured us, addressing our intellectual and creative needs, modeling good behavior, instilling good values like tolerance and humility, encouraging doable life-goals, and giving us space to explore and to learn from our own mistakes. He celebrated our accomplishments and growth. This is all part of my unique identity as well as a commonality to my sister’s.
There’s so much we experience in our lives, the big moments that shape us: high school and college graduations, a first job at Carvel’s Ice Cream shop, getting married to a trombonist and moving away, a first home, retirement, etc. As I think about my life, these are the memories and milestones that come to mind first. But a life story is so much more than that. Moments with our parents are part of life’s journey that help shape who we are and what we value.
Even little moments are important. Dad always knew stuff about everything. He could answer all my naive questions in extensive detail. For example, I'd ask, “Why is the sky blue?” or “Why does the ocean have tides and not our lake?” Dad was Google, before there ever was a Google. He could nail every topic in the Trivial Pursuit game that we enjoyed when it was popular. I bet it is an app now. Dad was artistically talented too, and I relied on his understanding and know-how. He taught me the rules of linear perspective which I needed to learn for art school preparation. I was able to correct my screw-ups because I could count on his advice about such concepts and techniques. And, thank goodness, he willingly constructed many wooden frames for the local art shows I exhibited my work in.
My father never complained about being the short straw for access to privacy in a once one-bathroom house with three women whose pantyhose often hung there to dry. Thank goodness, none of us donned much make-up or insisted on one-hour bubble baths. I never played softball or tuned into TV sports with my father, but I knew he truly wanted us to grow into strong, successful and respected women in our fields. I never hesitated to ask for his advice on any matter, valuing his wisdom and insight.
Now life has become a new journey for this daughter. I must espouse full adulthood, comprehend my own earthly and, thereafter, existence to meet new levels of maturity. I vow to be dependable, supportive, self-reflective, forward-thinking, selfless and yet self-nurturing as I continue to age. And I will do so with my father always in mind. I am truly grateful for my lot in life and for all my treasured family memories. Currently, I have a mix of emotions to process as many of you may also have, but let us lean on each other, both family and friends, toward healing and maintaining positive, happy lives. Dad, you would want that, so rest in peace now. Thank you for being a good father, a good man.
